California Drug Rehab Resources

If An Addict Is Unwilling To Get Help

This can be a challenge. An addict can't be forced to get help except under certain circumstances, such as a violent incident that results in court-ordered treatment or medical emergency. But you don't have to wait for someone to "hit rock bottom" to act. Many treatment specialists suggest the following steps to help an addict get treatment.

Stop all "cover ups": Family members often make excuses to others or try to protect the addict from the results of his or her addiction. It is important to stop covering for the addict so that he or she experiences the full consequences of their self-destructive behavior.

Time your intervention: The best time to talk to the drinker is shortly after an alcohol-related problem has occurred--like a serious family argument or an accident. Choose a time when he or she is sober, both of you are fairly calm, and you have a chance to talk in private.

Be specific: Tell the family member that you are worried about his or her addiction. Use examples of the ways in which the drinking or drug abuse has caused problems, including the most recent incident.

State the results: Explain to the addict what you will do if he or she doesn't go for help--not to punish them, but to protect yourself from his or her problems. What you say may range from refusing to go with the person to any social activity where alcohol will be served, to moving out of the house. Do not make any threats you are not prepared to carry out.

Get help: Gather information in advance about treatment options in your community. If the person is willing to get help, call immediately for an appointment with a treatment counselor. Offer to go with the family member on the first visit to a treatment program and/or a meeting. Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, all have websites with available meeting schedules on-line. Be prepared with dates and times when beginning the intervention.

Call on a friend: If the family member still refuses to get help, ask a friend to talk with him or her using the steps just described. A friend who is a recovering addict may be particularly persuasive, but any person who is caring and nonjudgmental may help. The intervention of more than one person, more than one time, is often necessary to coax an addict to seek help.

Find strength in numbers: With the help of a health care professional, some families join with other relatives and friends to confront an addict as a group. This approach should only be tried under the guidance of a health care professional who is experienced in this kind of group intervention.

Get support: It is important to remember that you are not alone. Consider meeting with a local therapist specializing in addiction issues for insight and help. Support groups offered in most communities include Al-Anon, which holds regular meetings for spouses and other significant adults in an addict's life, and Alateen, which is geared to children of addicts. These groups help family members understand that they are not responsible for an addict's substance abuse and that they need to take steps to take care of themselves, regardless of whether the addict family member chooses to get help.